My heart is trapped in a snare
A snare promising the temptation of eternal emptiness
Of neither unhappiness nor happiness
Just being, not doing or pursuing.
The snare doesn't hurt
If I don't move or feel or desire anyone or anything
If I stay still and hold my breath
The numbness just takes hold.
I felt some time ago
That I could just lie quietly on this forest floor
Waiting for the worms
Petrify into the earth one day.
Then you came upon me
Tried to free me, to loosen the snare's lethal claws
To make me feel I could be again
The woman I used to be.
I looked into your eyes
I saw reflected in them a dream I couldn't fathom
Of a man full of desire
Of compassion, of love.
You set me free
I limped like a wounded beast to your side
You held me close
I felt your heart pounding in fear.
Inside this glass case
This frigid case of cold nothingness
I cannot be hurt
I cannot hurt another.
Inside this glass cube
With its sharp corners and transparent walls
I can watch life go by
Watch others live and love.
It's not ideal
It's not how I imagined my life to be
It just is how it is
Until I shatter the walls myself.